Sexual health over 50

Sex and intimate relationships are a normal part of life at any age. They can support your health, happiness, and wellbeing.

Intimacy and sex do not have to stop as you age, but they might change. 

If you have been with a partner for many years, you may already know a lot about what makes you both feel close and connected. But there can still be new things to learn and enjoy together.

Sex, whether it is with a long term partner or someone new in your life, can still bring joy, comfort, and fun.

It is also important to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) at any age. Using protection and knowing how to stay safe can help you enjoy intimacy with confidence.

Remember, 'sex' is not just penetration, whether it is vaginal or anal (in your bottom). Penetration is just one type of sexual activity. Mutual masturbation, oral sex, and touching and exploring each other’s bodies can be just as sexual and pleasurable.

Talking about sex and relationships can feel harder as we get older. Many people keep their worries to themselves because they feel embarrassed or unsure where to start. You are not alone, and you deserve support.

We are here to help you have healthy relationships and look after your sexual wellbeing.

Ending a relationship can be very hard. You may feel sad, confused, or unsure about what comes next. There are many reasons why relationships end. Sometimes the love changes. Sometimes two people grow apart. You may also choose to start a new chapter in your life. If your partner ends the relationship, it can take time to get used to the change.

Some people notice that their relationship feels different after their children leave home. Whatever the reason, it takes courage to learn how to live on your own again.

There is support to help you move forward. If you choose to separate or divorce, it can be a tough time. But change can also bring new chances and new beginnings.

A breakup can also affect how you feel about intimacy and sexual wellbeing. You may feel worried about sex, new relationships, or your confidence. This is normal. If you want advice, our team offers friendly and private support.

Grief can feel very hard and confusing. It can change your life in many ways. Things may not feel the same for a while. With time, most people find that memories hurt less, and day to day life becomes easier.

Some people also feel a sense of relief after a long illness or time of worry. This is normal.

People grieve in different ways, but many share feelings such as:

• sadness or crying
• guilt
• feeling very alone
• worry about the future
• trouble sleeping
• changes in mood
• not feeling like eating

You may also feel the loss of intimacy and closeness. This can be hard to talk about, even with friends or family. These feelings are normal, and it is okay to notice them.

Things that may help:

• Take things slowly. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. 
• Share your feelings in a way that feels right for you. 
• Talk to close friends about your loss, your worries, and your hopes for the future. 
• You may also find it helpful to speak with someone who has been through something similar. 
• Let others help with daily tasks, such as bills, banking or cooking. 
• Try to eat well and get plenty of rest. 

Try to speak with someone you trust. You can also talk to your GP for support. They may refer you to a local service like Talking Therapies. 

Grief can also change how you feel about intimacy. You may feel unsure or worried. This is normal.

If you have questions about your sexual wellbeing at this time, our team can offer friendly and private advice.

You may be single, or you may be starting a new relationship after separation, divorce or loss. 

It may have been a long time since you were dating. Thinking about a new sexual relationship can feel strange, and that is normal. 

Some people use this time to learn more about themselves. You may explore parts of your sexuality that you have not looked at before. For some people, this may mean having a relationship with someone of the same gender or a different gender for the first time. What matters most is that it feels right for you. 

Everyone’s path is different, and there is no right or wrong way to move forward.

You may have felt an attraction to people of the same gender for many years and not acted on it. Or you may be thinking about a partner of the same gender for the first time. This is okay. Many people learn new things about themselves later in life.

There are more than one million gay men and lesbians in the UK who are over 50. You are not alone. The world is changing, and it is now a more open and supportive place to be yourself.

There are groups and organisations that can offer support if you want to talk about your sexuality or explore your feelings in a safe space.

STIs are not only a problem for younger people. 

Even if pregnancy is no longer a concern, STIs can still affect you. It is important to practise safer sex to lower your risk. You can do this by using a male or female condom every time you have sex with a new partner. 

Many STIs have no symptoms, so people often do not know they have one. STIs can pass from one person to another through unprotected: 

• oral sex 
• vaginal sex 
• anal sex 
• close genital rubbing 

If your partner could still get pregnant, condoms can also help prevent pregnancy. 

Using condoms is very important. They help protect both you and your partner, and they show care and respect in any sexual relationship.

When a woman’s ovaries stop making eggs, her periods come to an end. This means she can no longer get pregnant. This stage is called the menopause.

The time before the menopause is called the perimenopause. During this time, a woman’s hormones begin to change. These changes can cause different symptoms. 

Every woman’s experience is different.

Common symptoms include:

• Hot flushes or night sweats
• Trouble sleeping, which can make you feel very tired
• Mood changes such as irritability, anxiety, feeling low, or brain fog
• Vaginal dryness
• Discomfort during sex
• Needing to pee more often or having more water infections

This is not a full list, but these symptoms can affect how you feel about yourself. They can also affect your emotional wellbeing, your sexual health, and your relationships.

If you notice symptoms of the menopause and they are affecting your daily life, speak to your GP for help and advice.

When your periods have stopped for one full year, you are classed as post menopausal.
You should still use contraception for one year after your last period.

After the menopause, many women begin to lose bone strength more quickly. This can lead to osteoporosis, which means the bones become thinner and may break more easily.

The good news is that there are simple steps that can help protect your health.

The menopause can also affect your sexual health and wellbeing. This is normal, and many women notice changes.

How the menopause can affect sexual health

• Vaginal dryness can make sex feel uncomfortable
• You might notice a lower interest in sex
• Mood changes can affect how you feel about closeness and intimacy
• The vaginal area may feel more sensitive, which can affect comfort
• You may get urinary infections more often, which can affect how you feel sexually

These changes are common. There is support to help you feel comfortable and confident.

What can help your bones and your sexual health?

• Regular exercise like walking
• Eating a healthy diet with enough calcium and vitamin D
• Reducing alcohol, caffeine and smoking
• Using vaginal moisturisers or lubricants to help with dryness
• Talking to your GP about HRT or other treatments if symptoms affect your daily life
• Being open with your partner about how you feel

You are not alone

Many women find the post menopause stage challenging, but support and treatment are available.

If you have any concerns or want advice about your post menopause or sexual health, please speak to our team or contact your GP. 

• Sex in later life | Age UK
• Seniors dating in later life | Age UK
• LGBT+ Health and Wellbeing | Age UK
• Sex and heart conditions - BHF
• Having sex when you have a lung condition | Asthma + Lung UK